


Loved

by Esodra



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Suicide, Suicide Notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:28:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23366197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Esodra/pseuds/Esodra
Summary: Ivan get some shocking news.Suicide mentions.
Relationships: America/Russia (Hetalia), RusAme - Relationship
Kudos: 36





	Loved

The news came as a surprise. No one expected it to happen, none who knew the American anyway. To think he would do such a thing to both himself and the people around him. Ivan, who had loved the bastard cried like a little child when the news reached him. He had never been able to tell the American, Alfred, how he felt, it had always been arguing between them, despite the fact that Alfred had always been happy and outgoing, at least to Ivan.   
Ivan had never imagined the Alfred would kill himself. He seemed like the type of person who had so much to live for, but who knew really. It wasn’t easy to tell what the other was truly thinking, something that had drawn Ivan to the American in the first place, the fact that they were polar opposites, and that the Russian couldn’t read him. 

The American had always acted out that he was sweet, outgoing, happy and seemed to love life and the world, but… now that the truth had been told Ivan could see that the other had struggled a lot more than anyone knew. If he had just told Alfred how he truly felt maybe this wouldn’t have happened? It wasn’t sure, for all he knew Alfred wasn’t even into men in the first place. Now he would never know anyway. 

Pacing around his room, Ivan cried, tears running down his cheeks as he tried to figure out what to do, what to say, who to call. He wanted to call Alfred and just spill out his feelings for him. Tell him how he loved the American, how he adored the way the American spoke and acted around him. But that was impossible to do, he was too late. 

Ivan couldn’t even imagine how Alfred’s family would be feeling in a moment like this. From what the Russian had gathered, the younger boy had a twin brother and two uncles or something of the kind, it wasn’t sure what they were to the American but family regardless. Would it be weird to call his family and say his condolences to them? Or would it be best to just stay away? For all Ivan knew he was surely a stranger to them, Alfred surely had never spoken to them about him. 

His phone ringing was what brought him back to reality, still teary eyes he picked it up and tried to sound as composed as possible. It wasn’t easy but the Russian managed to sound somewhat normal.

“Da?” he spoke, not hearing any answer from the other end he looked at the phone for a moment, trying to figure out who was actually calling him. The number was unknown to him. Debating whether or not to hang up he was stopped in his tracks by the unknown caller. “Yes, hello, is this Ivan Braginski?” the voice sounded familiar but he couldn’t figure out where he heard it before. Ivan nodded, first seconds later realizing that the caller couldn’t hear nor see that. “Da… Yes,” he mumbled not really liking where this was going. 

“This is Matthew Williams. I am…” there was a pause, a deep sigh, as the other, Matthew was clearly composing himself. “Alfred’s brother.” Ivan’s heart sank. Alfred? How did he get Ivan’s number? Why was he calling Ivan in the first place? It was so bizarre to him that Ivan stayed quiet for a long time, resulting in a ‘hello?’ on the other end. Answering quietly the Russian asked what the meaning of the call was. 

“I am not sure if you’re aware, but Alfred, he…” the pause extended, it was difficult for them both, but Ivan pulled himself together and answered. “Da, I am aware. He’s dead...”

This clearly came as a surprise to Matthew, though Ivan could hear the other fiddle with something, sounded like a piece of paper. 

“Alfred wanted you to know something.” Ivan didn’t hesitate to speak up “What is it?”  
Composing himself the American brother started reading.   
“‘And to Ivan Braginski- I know this might come as a shock to you as well. I know we barely know each other but I want you to know that I love you. You mean the world to me, and I hate to leave you, just like I am leaving my family. I never managed to tell you these things before now, but know this; You’re loved.’” Matthew paused, signing deeply as he regained his composure. The other started speaking again, something about how he hoped the other knew of Alfred, yet all that the Russian could do was cry again, tears streaming down his face, as he ran the words over in his brain over and over again. They had both loved one another and none of them dared to say anything. Maybe… Maybe if he had been braver this wouldn’t have happened. Then at least Alfred would have known he had been loved.


End file.
